The J-thing ([info]jemauvais) wrote,
@ 2006-11-08 19:27:00
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Current mood:"champion"
Entry tags:funnies, good english

Flying Without Wings: Army Spelling
A couple of days ago, I told [info]lolitapop about this story of an email I received in the office from HQ BMTC to G1-Army and associated agencies, talking about the impending shift of women's BMT from SAFTI to BMTC on The Island.  As I read the email, I reached this line:

"...is requested to inform us of the expected number of trainees so that we can cater the appropriate number of instructress/female champron [sic]..."
I instinctively blurted out: "What the hell is a 'champron'?!"

Turns out the word he was desperately seeking was 'chaperone'.  Geez!

But of course this is merely the tip of the iceberg.  Following on my related entry on Army Diction, on the category of uniforms and accessories alone, we of course remember such memorable manglings as "gutters" [garters], "ampulets" [epaulettes], "fullpack" [fieldpack] and "berry" [beret].  I'm sure there must be more.  Do share!

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[info]synapseman
2006-11-08 02:43 pm UTC (link)
Well, there was an "expandble" store in my unit...

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 11:50 am UTC (link)
Heh, maybe that one was a typo?  I think those deliberate mistakes are worse!

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[info]hypodermically
2006-11-08 02:48 pm UTC (link)
I've heard all of those manglings, having been in NCC and having heard NS stories ad nausaem for nearly the past 10 years.. but, you mean it's not SUPPOSED to be 'fullpack'?! O_O

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[info]synapseman
2006-11-08 03:02 pm UTC (link)
Fieldpack.

But don't try to correct people, yo. It was like trying to make the Earth rotate the other way when I tried to convince people that that thing was called a "spanner" and not a "spah-nah".


Another one: Flannelette. I don't know how the hell that became "fantelite". And there's one more mystery that I SERIOUSLY cannot solve till this day:

What's a "telt"?

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[info]hypodermically
2006-11-08 03:05 pm UTC (link)
*facepalm* so THAT's what they meant by 'fantelite'.

Telt? Whassa context?

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[info]almostnormal33
2006-11-08 03:13 pm UTC (link)
i always heard talc and for a while i was wondering why they wanted me to line my cupboard with powder...

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[info]synapseman
2006-11-08 04:07 pm UTC (link)
Something like that lah. I asked the fella to spell it out, and it was "T-E-L-T". From his (somewhat hopeless) description, I figure it's some sort of plastic covering?

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[info]gssq
2006-11-09 12:47 pm UTC (link)
A clear plastic sheet used to cover things. I don't know what tis really called though...

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 12:06 pm UTC (link)
I tried to do a dictionary search for it but there's no such word 'telt'!

To think that when I was in BMT my platoon sergeant sounded so convincing: "TELT!"

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[info]gssq
2006-11-10 12:56 pm UTC (link)
Try variant spelling lah. After all, flannelite got spelled so many ways :P

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[info]gssq
2006-11-10 01:02 pm UTC (link)
OH YES
NOW I REMEMBER

One day in slavery I got a brainwave. Tarp. For tarpaulin.

http://www.ehow.com/buy_16001_plastic-tarp.html

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:43 pm UTC (link)
Hmmmm... but I thought that tarp was a thick, opaque plastic sheet used to protect stuff from the elements (kinda like groundsheet material), not the (supposèd) 'telt'.

Or maybe even the definition of tarpaulin got distorted into including clear, plastic wrap.

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[info]gssq
2006-11-10 07:34 pm UTC (link)
http://gssq.blogspot.com/2006/11/talc-map-now-in-thread-about-slavery.html

You have the stuff at home? So deprived :P Or stealing SAF property? ;)

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-11 07:15 am UTC (link)
Hahahahaha... I stand corrected; only goes to show how bizarrely the Army can distort the spelling/pronunciation of things.

I bought a roll of the stuff from NTUC (it's the wrap-schoolbooks-kind, not the waterproof-maps-kind) to waterproof the roof and floor of my rabbit cage since it's out on the balcony and the awning won't be sufficient against rain splatter.

If I want to steal SAF property, I'd steal better things than a roll of tarp! *looks behind shoulder*

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:45 pm UTC (link)
I just took a look at a roll of the stuff that I have in my room, and the label isn't very helpful: it just says "PVC wrap". :T

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[info]gssq
2006-11-11 07:38 am UTC (link)
Regular very free hor ;)

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-11 08:31 am UTC (link)
Think smart, act blur.  It's a Core Value!

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[info]gssq
2006-11-09 12:46 pm UTC (link)
I always thought it was featherlite *g*

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:08 pm UTC (link)
Hehehehe... featherlite is a type of condom!

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[info]kodomo
2006-11-08 04:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh god yes the SPAH-NAH. People in my office do it too. So annoying.

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:09 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, it just grates your ears, doesn't it?

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Yeah it isn't!  From the first time I heard it, I thought, "That's not right; why the hell is it a 'fullpack'?  What if it's empty???"

Then I realised it was 'fieldpack'.

Let me contribute another one: "silent [cyalume] stick"!

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[info]hypodermically
2006-11-10 04:52 pm UTC (link)
Yeah it's funny how people can talk about the 'fullpack' being empty..

Try "silen stick". Not even a t at the end.

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[info]gssq
2006-11-10 07:35 pm UTC (link)
Xylum lah

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-11 07:09 am UTC (link)
No leh, I did a google on it and the company is Cyalume Technologies!

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[info]lolitapop
2006-11-08 11:10 pm UTC (link)
COSTAPE!!

Know what that is supposed to be!?

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[info]synapseman
2006-11-10 03:04 pm UTC (link)
Eh, they don't even pronounce the "-ape" for costape, ok?

The other day I heard some fella in Popular Bookstore looking for "costeh".

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[info]lolitapop
2006-11-10 03:16 pm UTC (link)
wahlau eh!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:12 pm UTC (link)
Hahahahaha!  Scotch-tape!  Just like "jelly can" [jerry]!

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[info]gssq
2006-11-09 12:46 pm UTC (link)
http://gssq.entori.net/quotes/quotesns.htm

http://gssq.entori.net/quotes/quotesnsbmt.htm

http://gssq.entori.net/quotes/quotesnssmm.htm

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(Anonymous)
2006-11-10 02:20 pm UTC (link)
Haha.. This is also one that even people in DSO and DSTA get it wrong.

Used in radio communications

authenticate is pronounced as a-ton-ticate..

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:28 pm UTC (link)
Oh man, that's right too!  I always thought it was so odd to "or-thon-ticate"!

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-10 03:10 pm UTC (link)
Hahahahaha... those entries are a veracious treasure chest of the best of NS-speak!

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[info]synapseman
2006-11-12 03:57 pm UTC (link)
I just remembered: "Togo" rope!
Come to think of it, I don't recall ever being taught how to use it. It was always just a thing you had to hang on your SBO.

Then that Ranger song, starting like
"C123 rolling down the street
airborne ranger take a little trip..."

Fuck lah, it should be "C-One-Thirty rolling down the STRIP"...
Everytime I hear them sing like that, I get damn fucking irritated. DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SINGING???!

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-13 05:39 pm UTC (link)
Typical of Army: monkey see, monkey do.  So now monkey hear, monkey sing.

But then again, what else do you expect from the Army?  Just look at their latest TVC.  The entire Army L.I.V.E. career is all about—running.  And running.  And more running.  And then more running.  And then even more running....

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[info]zhaki
2006-11-13 03:04 pm UTC (link)
Undergraft/overgraft.

Apparently "grasp" is too difficult to pronounce.

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[info]jemauvais
2006-11-13 05:36 pm UTC (link)
Ah yes, how could I forget that!  That one is really a classic!

I remember the first time I heard it: it was some PTI teaching us how to do IPPT properly, and he said, "For chin-ups, you can use either the overgraph [he pronounced it "graph", without the 't' sound] or the undergraph method."  And I got promptly bewildered.

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kureshii
(Anonymous)
2006-11-15 12:00 pm UTC (link)
LOL, the good old days are coming back, and I'm remembering the other meanings of those acronyms that are now slowly being replaced by academia rubbish...

Heard almost all the terms mentioned above, and managed to figure out all of the correct spellings and meanings. Epaulette was thanks to a friend, flannelette was because i've been armskote i/c for 8 weeks before), cyalume was thanks to another friend... but I neer figured out "telt". I know what it was, and from all angles it looked to me like PVC wrap but "telt" was less of a mouthful.

Still not very convinced by "tarp" as it's just short form for tarpaulin which is opaque because of the waterproofing, and is usually made from canvas material.

My contribution to the list of misspelt names? I saw the word "AMOUR" printed on the side of the LAW carrying box... apparently someone can't even spell the name of his formation properly -_-;

In fact, I think the only word I have never seen misspelt is "tonner". Heaven knows why. But I suppose being in supply&transport, the people I meet should at least be able to spell that correctly...

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Re: kureshii
(Anonymous)
2006-11-18 06:11 pm UTC (link)
Yah neither am I convinced about the origin of "talc" or "telt".

I have a guess that perhaps "talc" could be the original material that was used to overlay maps or draw, like chalk. Or something similar to that extend, and the name stayed even after switching to a modern alternative like PVC wrap.

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[info]markngkb
2006-12-11 05:37 pm UTC (link)
*ouch* Bad English and bad grammar.

For the record, I have no idea why they call it overgraph and undergraph. It's supposed to be overgrasp and undergrasp. I remembered questioning that during my PTI course and got promptly chided by the course commander for being a smart mouth. =/

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[info]jemauvais
2006-12-11 06:30 pm UTC (link)
Hahahahaha... neither do I!  One of the mysteries of the Army I guess!

Anyway, yeah it's so typical of the Army to scold you when you point out something that they don't understand either, haha!

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(Anonymous)
2007-03-31 05:02 pm UTC (link)
well im not a storeman but i've seen the label affixed to that roll of plastic which is used to wrap schoolbooks and dockets alike. it's called TALT, believe it or not.

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